poolside | In which one player (suspiciously) has two characters that wield whips...

wow

okay tactics is its own special game where literally everyone you care about dies
and okay 8 had a kawaii ending i'll give it that
avoided yet another weird inconclusive open ended ending that just leaves you feeling unsatisfied
you just have to dredge through all that time compression nonsense to get there......
i'm pretty sure that entire sequence was the result of some squaresoft acid trips

i'm helpful!

or becomes a villain and takes advantage of you and breaks your heart, don't forget that part.
x was pretty okay until the ending but i'll still take that ending over dragging my ass through x-2?
so i guess yes, ix is the only happy one huh.
as i've said before, viii is basically them putting forth an effort for one disc and then grabbing everyone in the office to write fanfic about that first disc and smashing all that together to create the next three.
flawless.

that being said screw them and their lack of ffviii character development

haha shit. i'm glad someone else still says squaresoft, even if at the moment it is valid

i feel like i'm the only one sometimes (ollllllllllllllllllld)

i had to stop and consider that but
it was squaresoft back then
so yeah
it works

and yes that sounds exactly like what happened with ffviii after disc one. you can make a case for that happening with vii too, but to a lesser degree. they always start strong, and then they get weird..................

tbh i was still calling it that by reflex up until maybe 2-3 years ago lmkasdg

yeah, vii at least is still kind of cohesive? there will always be plotholes because screw that shit, that takes effort!! DID HOJO PUT VINCENT IN THAT COSTUME OR DID VINCENT CHOOSE INTENTIONALLY TO DRESS LIKE A WEIRDO RIGHT BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP IN A COFFIN
DOES HE GET BORED
DOES HE SOMETIMES LEAVE TO GET BOOKS OF SUDOKU (NEW HEADCANON, CAN'T STOP ME)

so i'm off of work and this is what i do when i get home
what a loser

the old habits, they are hard to give up

and yeah oddly we get an entire game about vincent's back story
yet it still feels like we know nothing about him
the nature of all weird ff spin off titles i guess

its okay this is what i do even when i am at work. i'm pretty sure that makes me worse.

it's true. i can't wait to see how long i type/write "2013" next year!

i rage-quitted that like, 1/3 of the way through
so i assume it reveals that he is secretly a vampire and enjoys scaring children like a lonely middle-aged man might on halloween
and then chuckling to himself before retiring to his coffin to sulk about how lonely he is

square, please feel free to hire me. i have many more ideas!!

we're really good rpers and also people.

i think that's better than anything it actually does reveal
so let's pretend that's canon
and just...
not acknowledge anything else...........

square could use it at this point. idek what's become of their stories.
stares sadly at lightning returns
shakes head and goes back to playing old ffs

uncomfortable loli sideplot 8(
lady in a furbodysuit 8(

i think they could use dumb, fun moments. all i want is barret in a sailor suit and i don't think that's too much to ask, is it?

still playing psp ff4
poorly

no stop
i had forgotten all of it
why must you remind me

preening himself in the bathroom right
those were the good ol days

no i think you have the right idea... that's probably still the superior version

suffering alone is no fun?

lasgdg i always forget about that and the cabin in costa del sol
just gonna buy this because what the hell else do you do when you accumulate a shitton of gil and have 99 of every item toward the end of the game...

if i could be that unintentionally hilarious, i'd rp him
and vincent. i'd be the worst vincent rper because i would never take him

it's so awful i love it
i love when rydia comes back how they just stand there and talk over golbez's assumed corpse
eh it's all good he dead
SUDDENLY PHANTOM SPRITE GAUNTLET GRABS THE CRYSTAL

i hate this game so much kill me now

wow dw doesn't want me to make jokes about the cure i guess
either way, he'd bond with the lyrics of the cure
they understand him

;_;

it's totally cost efficient if you need to sleep at an inn like
a million times.............
in a city that's kind of in the middle of nowhere and largely irrelevant..........

rping vincent is just doing lots of unnecessary backflips and trying to ham it up constantly by reciting terrible out of place lines everywhere

that's the one thing they gypped us with in the ds version
no golbez hand
i think they realized just how ridiculous that would look in 3d
its funny because they just kind of stand there and watch a hand jack it without doing a thing
it's like they're so shocked by how ridiculous their canon is they don't know what to do

you can't do that emote on this account, it is forbidden

that's how i talked myself into it
it's not like there's a midgar savings and loan to deposit my gil into or smth

but he's such a deep and seriously tragic character!!!!

it's possibly my favorite scene in the entire game
it totally wasn't ridiculous at all in the 2d version so i can understand that
"well i guess we'll just go drink ale with dwarves for a bit and count our losses..."

thank you for understanding my need to make fun of things i love. i can't stand how serious ff fandom is, especially ff4. it seems the only thing you can make fun of is edge on occasion and SEVENTEEN YEARS ON A MOUNTAIN otherwise you are a blasphemer!!

rydia used cry
defense lowered...

its investing in prime real estate
the housing market is sure to soar with
falling meteors and all that

yeah ultimately its just sad how stupidly they lose crystal after crystal in the game
and then that never really even matters
i'm not sure what the crystals actually achieved at any point
o well

i don't even remotely understand how you can take most of ff4 seriously
i mean i love it but
it is not the pinnacle of strong writing or plotting

the person who did the let's play of it on the lparchive gave it to kain
from now on, i think i will, too...
rydia gets bluff which is super kawaii

i want to believe that costa del sol was the only place completely devastated by that
why are you staying in edge when you had that sweet ass beach front property it's so gloomy

well GIANT OF BABIL!!!!!!!
why is the prototype stronger
why is it on the moon
i don't understand you ff4

even the serious scenes are funny
disembodied dad voice...

also forever annoyed at cecil's dad not having silver/white hair and why did theodor as a child have brown hair i don't understand
golbez's tan is still a mystery

no one understands my feelings about ff4

yeah i always give it to kain too
i'm sad its not in tay...

because its cloud
he'd like purposely pick the gloomiest most emo place to live

but what did the giant even accomplish???
what did it do?????
they woke it up and
that was basically it
the evil masterplan that accomplished nothing

bid farewell to your bloodstained past!!!
they really love that phrase
so much
even though as far as i can tell i don't think cecil actually killed anyone... except in like the weird gba translation or something

you'd think golbez would be pale as hell since he's always covered head to toe
but nope he's like the darkest character in the game next to luca
and he never even like mentions
oh hey ceodore you're named after me.............
also what was up with cecil's mom and odin
why do they keep raising questions theyll never answer

its okay. i have a lot of feelings too.

i was really hoping they'd incorporate augments
man what a half-assed update

"looks like there's never sun, seems like a good place to settle in!"

well it took a few steps i guess and then they easily shut it down but more importantly
more character death fake-outs!!!
ff4: it won't quite playin' games with my heart

i kind of really like that tagline/the promo poster
but yeah i don't think he even technically killed any mysidians?
if anything it was WHOOPS BOMB RING kind of killing sob
worst load captain ever

maybe sleeping in that chamber for 17 years was like a tanning bed
also why did he also age if apparently none of the other lunarians did
this game and ages what are they doing they're so stupid
at least kain and ceodore was kawaii
meanwhile they pair together the weirdest characters for conversation
yang of all people jamming with edge about heirs
did they just throw a dart at a board?
also clearly odin is actually golbez's father don't you understand

stupidest feelings 8(

i guess it doesn't make as much sense when you have all the party members available to you at the end
but alas
half-assed indeed

ff4, the game where everyone miraculously and impossibly survives
except tellah

bid farewell to your bloodstained past of
getting tricked into suicide bombing innocent people
i'm not really sure why the bomb ring didn't kill them though??
it's like the weirdest device ever
somehow the people who set it off end up completely fine every time
it's only capable of killing generic npcs i guess... tay would support that conclusion too since it kills everyone in the room but kain, edward, and rosa

did he age?? i figured golbez just always looked like that
everyone else pretty much looks exactly the same too except for their varying hair lengths etc
but yes kain and ceodore were indeed kawaii
lol yeah awkward conversation between yang and edge... to then give them like the best band in the game despite the fact that they have like no story connection at all

patpat

true enough
get on that remake remake and kill some of those extra folk, will you?

tellah 8(
lmao i hate that he might actually be my favorite character in this stupid game
but in reality i know it's just because of his funky fresh digs. dem pantaloons...

well yeah the bombs know who is and isn't a plot device
it's their natural ability
i wish edward would have at least done a faceplant in that scene or hidden despite NEW FOUND COURAGE!! so disappointed.

always 30-40ish welcome to no one ages and kain becomes more kawaii in renders ville
i like that rydia just looks like a weeping willow/fern now
i mostly approve of oguro's art
i think it would've made a little more sense if it were edward, come to think of it? just an awkward silent bro nodding
kids are trouble man 8(

i spammed the shit out of final fantasy even though it took a billion years to cast ngl
but i'm also unskilled and that allows me to attack and heal at the same time which is important to an awful gamer like me

thank

no we need all 20+ characters, even those with like five lines in the game total
need them badly
unless theyre old
in which case theyll even kill off an original party member like fusoya...

it's the psychedlic john lennon glasses
everyone digs 'em

instead he uses his new found courage to uh
play his harp at kain
as kain bashes his skull in
there is really no way for edward to ever be cool, sorry to say

i guess its sort of acknowledgment that edge basically takes yangs place in the party
both in his role as like the speedy light armored damage dealer and
literally taking his vacancy...
but yeah story wise there is really no connection between them
except for edge possibly hitting on ursula now and then
which should not be the basis for a band between them....... unless that's why yang is bringing up heirs.....................................

its pretty cool looking
and just conceptually the original 5 having a band called that is cool
its not like tay is really that hard though so

you did good

we really need all those extra ninjas that the first time i played it on the wii i permakilled like half of them
also u don't know if fusoya is dead!!
although apparently in the novelization of tay, golbez dies 8(
LMAO A MISERABLE LIFE OF MIND CONTROL AND SLEEPING IN A CRAPPY CHAMBER AND FOREVER ALONE
then he dies a+++

i also appreciate his groucho marx costume nose
and how when he levels up basically all of his stats go down and he looks completely crestfallen. that was a good touch tbh

lmao kain i will now put you to slee--urk
i love edward he's such a loser
BUT RYDIA AND ROSA STAY BEHIND AND HELP THE HEALERS, this is why fabul was besieged you're the worst captain cecil

that's awful
let's hope that's not a thing
also lmao cecil naming her ursula god him and names he's so awful

yes i appreciate that
and yeah i had no issue beating the final boss and i was expecting it to suddenly get crazy hard because that's how ff4 rolled
but then i was left disappointed

i love praise, feel free to continue senpai u//////u

okay i guess technically fusoya could still be alive
somewhere
out there
and yes golbez's life is pretty depressing
that's what happens when you get mind raped as like a 5 year old or something

and lol yeah... tellah... are his intellect increases worth the falling speed...
so sad...
i don't remember if fusoya's stats fall like that too
being old is hard

admittedly i don't really understand what rosa was doing during that scene too
she just stands there and watches
would it be that hard to just cast cura on edward or something
maybe you guys would have had a shot then

i'm pretty sure that's not a thing
that would be the worst thing
also where did ursula even come from its like
cute that cecil names her
but that name really just comes out of nowhere

apparently they took out the cameo bosses in the ios version but
they put in the weird lunar bosses from the extra dungeon in the gba/psp versions of ffiv
so hurray more super bosses to fight...

notices you

on the moon golbez may never find
or is like just on the other side of the current moon i guess
how do tides work how does the moon work ff science is the best

if they don't i'm going to pretend they do because it's hilarious
it's the one stereotype in this game i don't mind them perpetuating

she was healing all the monks i guess
all the curas in the world can't stop edward from tripping on his own feet though
should've had him stay behind and tend to the wounded's spirits with a lovely song or two or smth

it really would be the worst thing
really really
also i think cecil has like a book of names he keeps
every time he thinks up a name he likes he just jots it down
although i think i'd have died if he'd chosen cecilia
just names everyone after his relatives who cares

also ds version just calling sheila "yang's wife" like it would've been so hard to put her name down even if they choose to never actually say it

i appreciate that edge and rydia are perfectly fine with beating up yang and ursula though
that was cute 8(
and the ios version makes it more difficult to get piercing magic idk what it's playing at other than thug lyfe
namingway isn't as cute in the psp version, i prefer ds and dumb sidequests

o-oh (blush)
primps

who knows... who knows
i don't understand how moons just keep appearing and disappearing in their atmosphere
and that doesn't change things on their world at all

back in the day when they were creative with stats
like golbez and his goofy 2971 hp
they need to do stuff like that more

in the end edward will always be the punchline of the joke
that is his duty as the spoony bard

cecil should have suggested names with awkward capitolizations, just like his dad and uncle
UrsuLa
CeoDore

that is the best part... the gathering really is just edge and rydia's crazy adventures, along with golbez being brooding and luca just not doing anything at all
which is perfectly fine with me tbh i would play a game entirely devoted to their crazy adventures
rydia i'm totally cool with hitting yang with a frying pan but uh
you hit ursula with the ladle

struts

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